Singles Day 2015

I'm linking up (again) with Kelly's Korner for Singles Day!!

A few things have changed since I last posted for Singles Day...or posted in general (whoops I kind of forgot which email was associated with this blog...)

So here are a few things about me...

My name is Staci and I'm 26 years old. I live and work in Greenville, S.C. I graduated from Clemson in 2010 with my undergraduate degree and again in 2011 with my Masters...I wasn't ready to leave so I extended my college experience another year. I'm a hardcore Clemson fan and I love going to football and baseball games. 

(hawaii - april 2014)

I'm currently working as a treasury accountant for an energy company in Greenville and I love my job. It can be crazy busy but at least I like it :)

I'm also super involved in the children's ministry at my church. So you can typically find me working on plans for the kids a few evenings a week. My faith is very important to me and I am definitely looking for someone who feels the same way. 

(my mom may kill me for this picture but oh well)

While I'm not working on children's ministry stuff I enjoy random crafting projects and baking. I think one of my favorite parts of working in my office is that I can take my baked goods to work...so I always have an excuse to bake. I'm mildly obsessed with monograms, bows and sharpies. Everyone at work knows me by my color-coded calendar and bright notepads. I'm a little crazy, sarcastic and random. But I'm also responsible, hard-working and honest...and probably a little too honest some (or most) of the time.

(hawaii - april 2014)

I tend to get along with people a little older than I am...the majority of my friends are married and have kids...So I'm looking for someone who likes kids and definitely wants them (one day).

(me and one of my favorite little people)

Please leave a comment if you'd like to know more!

Hope this crazy link-up works for some of us!!

so i judge parents...

and i probably (okay definitely) still will once i'm a parent

and that's my confession for the day. i know people say you can't really understand being a parent until you are in those shoes so you shouldn't be so critical. well critical is my middle name and trust me, once i'm a parent i am 99% sure i'll still feel this way.
certain things just annoy me and i promise i'll never do them. and if i do i really want someone to let me know. kids aren't always fun to be around...sometimes they cry and honestly are annoying and you just want to leave. but they are just babies and they don't know anything else. so you deal with it. i have a slight paranoia that i might never be a mother (and i'm only 23...although part of that plays into the whole meeting the boy craziness) so i'd like to think that i'll try and remember how i feel now when i feel that way later. and i'll never take my kids or the fact that i get to be a parent for granted. now i'm not saying that i want to be with my kids every waking moment. don't get me wrong, i know i'll want (and need) a break. and there is nothing wrong with that. and i guess most parents don't take their kids for granted but i just wanted to get this one out.
along the same lines, i guess once you have kids, things change (note the sarcasm people). but i'd like to think i'll still keep my identity as an individual as well as being a couple. kids are important, but so are relationships outside of the kids. so i don't want to be one of those moms (or one of those couples) whose life suddenly revolves around my kids, 24/7. like i want to get a babysitter and go out.

this crazy thing called life

my life has been rather boring recently but exciting stuff has been happening in my family. 
my brother got a job...yup like a real, full-time, grown-up job. and i'm honestly really happy for him. and yes, this is the same brother (i only have one) who is engaged and getting married in january of next year. and yup this brother is just graduating from college in may. it's funny how his life is turning out exactly how i had mine planned. actually it's really not funny at all. and if i think about it too much, i get a little sad. and if i'm being honest, maybe a little jealous. i had slowly come to terms with the fact that he would be getting married before me. (but i can still beat him...any takers people?) but this whole job thing is a completely different can of worms. and yeah i kind of hate that his life is all coming together and mine is basically a colossal train wreck (which is ironic since he's going to work for the railroad...) but in all seriousness, i just wish some small part of my life would start to make sense...i'm not even asking for it all anymore...just something. 
and it's not like i want his life to be floundering like mine is, i guess i just wanted to accomplish something before him (besides the obvious like graduating and such). i'm a little less than 2 years older than him but i always knew i would be employed and married before him. and yes, i did extend my college career by a year so there has really only been 9 months between our final college graduations...which is slightly more acceptable than 2 years. 
so there you have it blog-land, i'd like to be employed with a ring on my finger. but since we obviously don't live in a perfect world and my plan is clearly not correct, i'd take an interview...or a date. 
i think another reason i would really like either of the above (other then that it would hopefully ease my feelings of failure) would be the companionship/friendship/the relationship. i'm so, so, so hesitant to write what i'm going to next, but i really feel like i need too. sometimes i think the reason i haven't found the job yet or met the boy yet is that i'm not suppose to be where i am. like instead of just looking for jobs in/near greenville, i should be looking all over. (which i have been doing...just not as seriously as i've looked in greenville) maybe God doesn't want me here and he's trying so hard to tell me to let go of what i want and to look somewhere else (as if i haven't had to let go of most of my awesome plan already, i mean can't i just hold onto this little piece?!?)
so maybe i need to move and just start over. i would enjoy some friends who aren't married and don't have kids. or maybe just someone to go to lunch with on a Saturday...or meet for coffee one night. i absolutely love being with Jackson and Riggs but it's isolating in a way. but if i was at home, i'd just be hanging out with my parents and their friends and honestly that would be even more isolating because at least in greenville there are people i like that are my age. 
it doesn't really help that everyone  i hang out with from church is married and most have kids. which again, is awesome, but doesn't leave a lot of time for just hanging out. i've written about this whole idea vaguely before (and here as well) but i guess i'll touch on it again. i seriously hate when i feel like someone feels obligated to include me. i promise i may sound really weak and whiney on this blog but i like to think i'm a lot stronger in reality. for example, while out earlier, i heard on the radio an advertisement for a greenville drive game. i considered going for a split second but i thought going all by myself would make me seriously sad. but then i realized that i didn't even have anyone to ask to go with me and i got sad anyways. so just simple things like that. i guess my question to the world is where does someone find people to go to a minor league game with...or to spend a saturday afternoon with? and i came to the same conclusion that i've been reaching a lot recently...
i don't think it can happen for me in greenville. i really think God is seriously telling me to get out. look outside my comfort zone and just go. i mean i'd obviously have to find a job first but now i'm very seriously looking in cities throughout the u.s. and maybe i'll find something perfect. okay so i'm obviously still hoping something will come up in greenville but i doubt that a little more each and every day. so if God wants me to move on, then move on i will. and maybe then my life will all come together. or hey maybe it won't. i have a ton of fears about moving anywhere but i don't think i'll blog about those until i have a job offer that will require me to face those fears. which i don't have. 
so back to fun & non serious blogging tomorrow. i will confess that i wrote this a few days ago while in starbucks and clearly blogging in starbucks bring out the depressed/crazy/emotional side of me. 
and i think i'll end this blog post with the following tweet that pretty much sums up my thoughts on finding the boy.
via Southern Weddings @iloveswmag Southern Phrase of the Day: on finding the right man: Good Men are as scarce as deviled eggs after a church picnic. 

dating vs. courting

i was watching 19 kids and counting a few weeks ago and heard an interesting statement. i don't remember it word for word but basically one of the older duggar girls was talking about the difference between dating and courting. as i remember, the big difference (to the duggar's) is that with dating the focus is on intimacy while with courting the focus is on deciding whether they would be suitable to marry...or something to that effect. basically i just remember sitting on the couch thinking that if the only differences were the ones just described then i think i'd rather be courted. which sounds so 19th century and completely out of the question in current society. and it's not like i'd want all physical conduct off the table, just certain things. and i don't really think i'd want that to be the main point of my relationship with the boy anyways. 
i've talked here before about how i don't think i'll ever be the girl who dates just to date. i mean i'm 23 and have had no desire for that so i seriously doubt i'll change how i feel. i mean it's not like i want to talk about marriage on the first date (cause i'm pretty sure that would just scare the boy away) but if after a while (and i'm talking like 3-4 dates) one (or both) of us thinks that there isn't any longterm potential then why would we continue? i'm not saying that i'd never talk to him again but why keep dating? i think i'm pretty sure i know what i want (or at least the general things i want) and i'm even more sure that i know what i don't want. and continuing a relationship with the hopes to change things about someone is a bad idea (or so i've heard)...
so if courting is really just dating without [a lot] of the intimacy that typically is associated with dating in today's society and with the intent to marry,  then bring on the courtship i say! i have another blog post planned where i talk about the whole physical aspect of dating (and how it kind of terrifies me/freaks me out) so if being courted means less touching and more talk of ring shopping then sign me up...seriously.

questions from looking in a dressing room mirror...

so a weekend or two ago while i was shopping and in the dressing room with the awesome mirror that shows 80 million of you i had this sudden thought, one that i've had before on occasion when i think i'm having an awesome hair day or i love my outfit. i thought that hey, i'm kind of cute and i don't have anything that screams to a guy that he should run in the opposite direction...so then i started to think about why i'm single...and what was wrong with me. because obviously something has to be. and i promise this isn't going to be some super sad post. i can honestly promise that 97% of the time i am not thinking about the whole single thing at all. but every once in a while it just hits me...and it hits me in the most random of ways. and then, then it kind of hurts. 


don't worry, i didn't go back to my dressing room and break down crying. instead, i just smiled. i mean i'm only 23. i'm going to be completely fine [scratch that, i AM completely fine]. i'm happy and content with my life, why worry about something that i can't control. 


but these same questions play a {big} role in why i'm kind of scared to actually meet & date someone. if it doesn't work out and he is the one to end things, i know i'll go right back to these same questions. and confession time, i may have considered online dating. i mean where am i going to meet someone who has any (or more importantly most/all) of the qualities that i'm looking for. i'm definitely not trying to limit God and his ability to bring me and the boy together...but i'm also a realist who knows that he isn't just going to appear at the door one day. i mean that would be so awesome but it's not happening (well never say never but seriously people). also, i'm kind of scared to put myself out there like that. what if no one is interested. online dating has always been this back-up idea that has been in the back of my head. if i actually try it and don't succeed then what am i going to do?


but seriously i'm really okay. i just wanted to put this out there...but if you have suggestions on what i should do..totally willing to listen :)

a new bible

i think a bit of a back story is necessary for this post..or maybe the back story is the only story...anyways here it is. i've blogged before about how i have this journal that i write in occassionaly and hopefully i'll find the courage to one day give this to the boy. but i'm not super diligent in writing consistently and that makes me a little sad. but i tend to blame it on the fact that i don't have time..which is obviously not true. and even if time was the real issue, it should be a priority for me. on kelly's blog a few days ago she wrote about a couple's testimony that was told at a women's retreat she attended. the couple had a bible for their daughter that they highlighted and wrote messages in and then gave her this bible when she graduated from high school. i immediately knew i wanted to do this. i can't imagine a more special gift. i've already made myself promise that i'll keep journals for each of my children and one day give the journals to them. [and deep down i know that i'll also give the boy his...one day] this past sunday during class at church, we were talking about family. and i may be 2 (or 10) life stages behind pretty much everyone in class but i still enjoy the topic. it makes me excited for the future. we ended class by watching the final scene in the movie courageous. [which if the movie is anything like the final scene i'm pretty sure i couldn't take it...i would just sob the entire time] that speech is great. i really can't put into words how much i want to marry a man who is striving to be the type of husband/father that is depicted. then, during the closing prayer i had an epiphany of sorts. i thought of kelly's post about reading the bible and i thought about how my own bible reading/study isn't what it should be. so i decided to go and buy a bible (and another journal). a bible that i'm going to read from and write in and maybe one day i'll get to give it to the boy. and the journal will be there for when my thoughts are too much to write in the bible. i was so convicted that this was a terrific idea. and then when i was at the christian bookstore that afternoon i suddenly was a little freaked out. like what kind of guy is going to want all of this crazy stuff from me. but then i calmly pushed those thoughts aside. because i know the type of guy that will want this...it's the kind of guy i'm going to marry. it's the kind of guy whose is going to be the type of husband/father that is described at the end of courageous. and so what if i thought i would have found him years ago. i haven't. and maybe it's because i haven't been ready. maybe i'm still not ready. but maybe this will help me get there. and no, i don't think that now that i'm doing this, the boy is going to appear in a week. but this can only help me become the type of woman that that type of man i want to marry deserves. because sometimes i think i'm so focused on the type of person he is, that i forget what type of girl he deserves. and it's someone who is constantly striving to be the kind of woman God desires. and if the boy doesn't come, then it's not like i've been wasting my time & it certainly won't hurt me at all :)

my college experience [church-wise]

so i vaguely mentioned in a previous post that my church experience during college was one of my biggest regrets so far. and i'm sure you read that part and thought "seriously, now i know she's crazy" and well maybe i am. but i don't really have any regrets from college...except church. so maybe i should count myself lucky in that respect. but i do kind of feel cheated. not to beat a dead horse but i think i that i just had really unrealistic expectations of the kinds of relationships you build through church. i mean i went to church...and i went all the freaking time but things just never really clicked for me.
so fall of my freshman year i started attending a college church. i was so excited. i mean this church was so different than the one i had grown up in and i loved that. i loved that it was my choice to go and that there were so many different types of people there. but there was no one else my age (well no other freshmen) and i think that should have been my first sign. i've always gotten along well with older people but everyone already had their group of friends...and i never really found mine. at least not the first year. however by the end of my sophomore year i was beginning to (finally) create some friendships.
my junior year was much better but it was pretty much just a social year. which was fine. looking back on that year, it was fun but there was no real spiritual growth or connection. we always had a girls group but it was pretty shallow when i think about it now. but i don't know if i would have wanted something deep. i mean talking about the important stuff isn't easy. and it really takes a special leader and group for a great girls group to happen. and i don't think i ever experienced that while at college. i mean i never really talked about fears or the what-ifs in life, i mean we never got real with each other. we did such generic topics and i so wish we had done something that could have provoked the deep stuff. there was a little bit of drama with the girls group (which didn't help anything) but ultimately i think that we could never get the right topic with the right people to happen. so the deep & real relationships didn't happen. and i really regret not looking outside of the church i was attending to find a bible study that more fit my desires. (i think this is also a slight fear i have right now...i would just really like to attend a ladies bible study that wasn't for women of all ages...cause i don't really think that the 65 year old lady who has been married for 40 years can relate to me as well as someone who is 25...but anyways)
by my senior year i was freaked out that i hadn't met the boy and that i had no idea what i was going to do with my life (and 2+ years later i'm still in the same boat...ironic maybe?) so i was kinda stressed. and i was "working" at the church very, very part-time. i think around this point i just wanted a reason to no longer go. i was so just going for the social aspect and because going to church is what you do. this year was when i started struggling the most with the whole "where do i belong" thing. i was so, so stressed about what to do with my life. senior year is really a blur when i think about church. for the first time i really, really needed & missed my close girl-friends. i think it really hit me when i was at a college retreat and even though i had been before, i was totally expecting it to be like the retreats from high school. and it just wasn't. AT ALL. mainly because when i needed to talk to someone about how scared i was of failing, of letting people down & of being alone (you know, basic life thoughts) i didn't feel like i had anyone. i mean i wanted someone who was going through it too. (and maybe i just expected too much?!) so i ended up crying in a bathroom at gulfcoast. not one of my proudest moments but it was real. and then a few weeks later i got into grad school and things kind of calmed down. at least i would have another year to figure things out (and i'll let you know when i actually do that). {i honestly just knew that i was going to meet the boy in grad school...after all that had to be why i got in...again i might be crazy}
so i graduated undergrad and started grad school.  i decided to go to another church near campus. it was a complete 180 from the church i grew up in. and for about 3 weeks that was super cool. then it wasn't. but i still went, because that's what you do. there were no other college students really there but there were some young married couples that i already knew. i'm not going to lie, a reason i was so willing to try something different was that i was hoping i could develop some friendships with these people. however that didn't pan out, partly because while they may have been young married couples only a few years older than me, they acted about 12. and i think that they kind of looked down on me because i was still in college (grad school people) and i was younger than they were & not married. and for whatever reason it was kind of a crappy year church wise. (and i totally know my attitude played a role in this) i was uncomfortable while in church, scared that i was going to do something that would be frowned upon (like clap) and most of the time i ended up at lunch alone because the couples all went together and i obviously wasn't cool enough to be invited. and okay so that sounds bitter but i promise i'm not. they really are not the type of people i want to be friends with but it still hurt that they didn't want to include me. i mean i am only human after all. 
and looking back on this time (and maybe i'm just being a little dramatic) but i think that this somewhat explains how i feel now. like i really don't want to be this huge burden on your life or anything but i think i'm a pretty cool and fun person (yeah obviously lame if i say that about myself, i know) but you know, maybe it's just too much for you to include me. and hey, this is why i need single friends...people who maybe sometimes feel the same way & that don't have a husband/wife/family to eat with.
so here we are, up to where i'm currently going to church. i like it. a lot. maybe because it's a lot like the church i grew up in and that makes me happy. maybe it's because i think i'm finally making my own friends...kind of. i do wish that there were some single people there but again i'm just hanging out with the married people & their kids. i don't really know where i'll end up getting a permanent job at so i haven't really let myself fully accept that this church could be the first church i attend as a "real" adult..or that could be a church in another state completely. i guess i'll just have to wait and see where i end up. but hopefully, wherever that is, it will be at a great church. because i now know how important a great church is. and i won't be making that mistake again.
**i've had this blog post written for almost a week and i've hesitated to post it. but i really feel like i should. i am definitely not trying to tell anyone that they should stop attending church if they don't like it because one day they will regret going. what i regret is that i was complacent and didn't look to see what else the world had to offer me. maybe i just took the easy road and that's what i regret. as i've said before, some of the very best relationships i have were built through church. and i want nothing more than for my children to love going to church as much as i have and for them to have those same relationships. i was careful to not mention where i was attending church because that's not the important part of the story. 

surviving church as a single

the website stuff christian's like is pretty funny. a few weeks ago there was an article about single adults and church (article can be found here) i related to a few points but really the article caused me to come to a major realization (or to rehash the same realization i talked about here). basically being single in church can be tough. i assumed it would be easier if there was a single's group that i could be a part of. i'm not gonna lie, in my head this group is pretty cool and we do lots of fun things. plus everyone's single so no one feels like the awkward third wheel (but more on that feeling later). but what if, one day there is a single's group and it's totally lame...or what if there is no one in that group that i can relate too? or what if it's one of the dreaded combo groups...i mean i'm only 23 and i don't relate well to college students at all..i can't imagine how true this will be in a few years.
and evidently, well according to the article at least, there are some big stereotypes that would be associated with such a group. and seriously if someone said something to me like "i don't know how someone as great as you isn't married" and it had been a bad sunday, there is a definite chance that i'd burst into tears at that exact moment...which would be awesome. oh and "if you stop looking for love you'll find it" okay barf...seriously people...i immediately thought of all the times people have told me they met their spouse at a youth or college retreat so that could totally happen to me too. yup i've been to Winterfest too many times to count (over 10 years) and still no ring or boy...so just because you went ONE year and happened to meet the "one" please don't act like the same thing will happen to me. plus whatever happened to encouraging a girl to happy with herself as she is. let's not put all these expectations on youth retreats and i bet everyone will leave them so much more fulfilled with God rather than negative thoughts about how it was a failure because you didn't get the guys number. (okay off that soapbox)
and if anyone ever told me how i needed to be more like the proverbs 31 woman i would cry...or punch them...but probably cry. i just wonder if people seriously think that's okay to tell someone. and let's just be clear here...i'm going to make an awesome wife and mother one day and yes all women could try and be more like the proverbs 31 woman but don't act like that's the reason i'm still single okay? (okay really moving on)
but seriously the main thing i gathered from this article (other than thankfulness that i haven't experienced a lot of these things yet and fear for what might come) is that maybe being a part of a singles ministry isn't all i've imagined in my head. but i'd like the opportunity to try it out. i'm written before about how much i loved my church experience in high school but i haven't really talked about my church-going experience while in college. that's definitely too much to write about here (be looking for a blog post all about that) but looking back on it now, it was a let-down. i don't know if i just had unrealistic expectations or what...but i think that has been one of my biggest regrets so far. and now that i'm past that phase, i think i would really like to try out a single's ministry. but how? i mean if the church your attending doesn't have one and you really like your current church, do you seek out other churches in the area looking specifically for such a ministry? [i feel like this could just be a slippery slope to selecting a church based purely on whether or not a potential husband is also attending...] or do you stick with where you are happy? or maybe you just look for jobs in completely different states knowing that maybe a clean start would be cool too. 
surviving church as a single can really be tough and evidently it's that way whether or not your part of a  singles ministry. but there has to be some redeeming qualities to a singles ministry right? again, i know i'm thinking of how church was when i was in high school but it was great to have friends who you could always do stuff with. whether it was getting dinner on a thursday night or lunch on saturday or just wondering around target aimlessly, it was so nice to have that companionship. and when your the only single person, you don't have anyone to do that with. so you end up eating dinner out alone or your the third/fifth/ninth wheel. either way totally awesome (again i think i have a whole blog post coming on this subject alone..i know your so excited)
so maybe this post was just another ramble that makes absolutely no sense...but maybe you get it too. and hey if your in the greenville area of sc maybe we should just start our own singles group. i promise i'm not as sad/dramatic/crazy as my posts may lead you to believe!

attending a parents meeting...nbd

so this past Sunday i went to a meeting for parents of children...yeah i know i don't have kids yet but i went for someone who does. and honestly, i think it's the kind of thing that any church member who either has young kids or plans to have kids should go and hear. and also, it's meetings like these that remind me how lucky i am to have the parents that i do. a lot of the stuff that was discussed were definitely present in my childhood..and honestly until a few years ago i would have assumed were present in any child's life whose parents attended church regularly. i've learned a lot about that in the past few years (even without being a parent) and it has certainly solidified my ideas about how my children will be raised. 


one point that was made was that your children develop friendships while attending class and church.
this was my FAVORITE point and is pretty much the point of this entire post.
These friendships that are made when children are so young will hopefully continue to grow so that when they are in middle/high school they have a great group of friends who have similar morals/beliefs and share the "same faith." as i've written before about the great group of friends that i met at church when i was in the first grade and how impact-full their friendship was come high school. and i seriously had an ah-ha moment when the minister made this comment. i was always at church...any time the doors were open we were there...and so were the girls that i developed these friendships with. and i really want nothing more for my children (especially my daughter/s), then for them to have the same friendships. so yeah my kids will be at church all the time. because i want them to have every opportunity to have those friendships. and i know some days will be rough but there's nothing more important than the spiritual development of my to-be children. 
and yes, i know that there is more to it than just going to church. trust me, i know that. i grew up with daily family devotionals until i was old enough to do them myself, along with family prayer time. so it won't be left up to sunday school teachers. and it's going to be the top priority for me. so yeah i think that anyone who is going to be a parent can benefit from hearing stuff life this. i liked the reminder. 
and to completely change directions (well sorta) i think that this so relates to looking for the boy. i just can't imagine being married to someone, much less trying to raise children with someone that doesn't have spiritual development as the top priority and is satisfied with attending church casually. so i guess the boy has some big expectations to meet...but i have no doubt that he'll do just fine :)

bringing pretty back

[article can be found here]


i saw this article mentioned on another blog and i'm so glad that i clicked the link to read. it does such a great job of putting a lot of my rambling thoughts and ideas into actual, coherent words. i've written about modesty and purity and all that good stuff before. and while that is not the focus of this article, it's all related. but i'll try and keep this post to the article specifically. (note, i kind of fail at this)
i think this article is so relevant today. i love that pretty (for this specific author) is defined as a combination of beauty and innocence. i pretty much want to just copy and paste every word from this article. i love love love the part about projecting innocence and how that inspires men to protect and defend it. captivating does such a great job of delving into this particular topic and lady in waiting even has a chapter or two as well. those books have really encouraged me to not only embrace my innocence but to desire a boy who will protect and defend it. 
and now it is time for "is this too real aka should i really even write this down, much less actually blog this idea/question?!?" it has on occasion (okay multiple occasions) crossed my mind that what if the boy doesn't really care how innocent i am, like what if it's just no big deal. and then i realize that obviously he wouldn't be THE boy if that's how he felt. but then i go down the whole road of what if my expectations are too high? and then i think about how i really can't imagine making out with random boys each night, much less doing anything else so we're pretty much back to square one now. and maybe sometimes i even wonder if there are any cute, ambitious boys out there who would not only understand innocence but want to protect and cherish it. but, at the end of the day, the thought of doing something to tarnish that innocence just isn't an option. so i guess the boy will just have to make an appearance at some point. 
and back to the article...hotness is just a commodity. i, again, love how this article differentiates between being hot and being pretty. to say that hotness is a commodity brings a smile to my face and i like that the movie grease is referenced. i remember watching this movie when i was in 4th or 5th grade. i liked the music a lot. but i remember, even when i was that young, being slightly confused as to what was wrong with Sandra Dee? obviously she was pretty but why did she have to change to get her boy. obviously as i got older, i understood more aspects of the movie but that message has always bothered me. and i'm glad to see it addressed here. what kind of message is that sending that in order to get a guy you need to change who are you, and the changes really are not for the better. 
and again with should i actually post this or not...so, while i went through that awkward stage in middle school that everyone goes through, i rebounded from it pretty well..mentally i mean. i don't wake up every morning and look in the mirror and hate what i see. i mean, sure some days i really like my hair and other days i wish i was a little tanner but nothing major. but naturally it enters a girls mind that maybe she just isn't pretty (or hot) enough to ever find someone. like maybe if i was a little more this, or a little less that then i would have already found the boy. it's kind of hard when you go out and the girls you're with attract all sorts of attention from guys. but then, once i evaluate the situation and am truly honest with myself, i realize that i don't really want that kind of attention. i mean everyone likes to feel attractive and desired but ultimately i have a deeper want. and really, that's perfectly fine. this also makes me wonder where i'm supposed to find the boy at? i would never say that anything is impossible, after all God does like to use the unlikely situations to show his power, but is it really that likely that i'm going to stumble upon the boy at a bar? i personally don't think so but i'm clearly not in control of this story. i realize that church would be a likely place to meet the boy, but i'm not going from church to church just in hopes of finding him. i really do believe that God does not desire that. and i'd like to be pursued by the boy, not the other way around (but boy is that another blog post completely) so to sum up this somewhat random tangent, i like the distinction between being hot and pretty...because most of the time i never think of myself as hot...but i'd much rather be in the pretty boat anyways.
the line that nobody wants to be thought of as innocent, the good girl, kind of makes me want to cry. and even more so, it makes me want to cry for all the little girls out there who need good women role models and people to tell them that it's okay to be the good girl. it's not always an easy path but it is definitely the right one. and i'm still on that path but it's not one that i regret. and i know that i won't ever regret it, no matter what ends up happening. i really can't explain how much i just want to tell all the girls in middle and high school that it's worth it to be labeled the good girl. (and again with the honesty, i wonder if those girls would even want to hear that from me. it's not like i have this "successful story" to tell them. i mean i'm still looking for the boy.) i know without a doubt that this is one message i will pound into my daughter(s)...you know, the ones i don't have yet with the boy i haven't met yet but i may be planning her wardrobe vicariously through a certain little girl already. [definitely a story for another day] 
i think this article should be shared with girls everywhere. but especially those girls who are trying to be pretty but sometimes wonder if it's even worth it. because girls, it totally is. i really never thought that one of my passions would be for girls in middle and high school but i think that it totally is. i just think that's such an impressionable age. and maybe it's because i loved it when the "young women" of the church did stuff with us when i was that age. i loved being in their class or just talking with them after church on a Sunday. and maybe, if the cycle continues, one day my little girl will have "young women" in her life who encourage her to bring pretty back and be the good girl.