so i judge parents...

and i probably (okay definitely) still will once i'm a parent

and that's my confession for the day. i know people say you can't really understand being a parent until you are in those shoes so you shouldn't be so critical. well critical is my middle name and trust me, once i'm a parent i am 99% sure i'll still feel this way.
certain things just annoy me and i promise i'll never do them. and if i do i really want someone to let me know. kids aren't always fun to be around...sometimes they cry and honestly are annoying and you just want to leave. but they are just babies and they don't know anything else. so you deal with it. i have a slight paranoia that i might never be a mother (and i'm only 23...although part of that plays into the whole meeting the boy craziness) so i'd like to think that i'll try and remember how i feel now when i feel that way later. and i'll never take my kids or the fact that i get to be a parent for granted. now i'm not saying that i want to be with my kids every waking moment. don't get me wrong, i know i'll want (and need) a break. and there is nothing wrong with that. and i guess most parents don't take their kids for granted but i just wanted to get this one out.
along the same lines, i guess once you have kids, things change (note the sarcasm people). but i'd like to think i'll still keep my identity as an individual as well as being a couple. kids are important, but so are relationships outside of the kids. so i don't want to be one of those moms (or one of those couples) whose life suddenly revolves around my kids, 24/7. like i want to get a babysitter and go out.

maternal instinct?

after engage last night, i was kind-of part of a conversation that was about maternal instincts and if they kick in after giving birth. the question was posed to a recent first time mother, who responded with a definite "yes" and that they kicked in immediately after she gave birth. so on my drive home (which was nothing like the drive home mentioned in this post thank goodness!) i thought about this maternal instinct idea. i have honestly never thought about whether i would have that maternal instinct once i had kids. i mean i've always been pretty good with kids and kids have always liked me so i just figured that my own kids would follow that pattern. and, as i've gotten older and been around more kids and spent more time with babies, i just knew that this would totally be the case with my own kids. obviously i'm not having kids anytime soon so i can't test out this theory just yet.

but don't get me wrong i know that nothing can compare to what i'll feel for my own kids. so there's that. and i also know that while i may spend my days with two 9 month olds changing diapers and figuring out nap times, i don't make big decisions or anything. obviously, i mean that's why the babies have parents...i just dress them in fun clothes and take a gazillion pictures of them. and i can admit that i'm totally not ready to make the big decisions (okay that's a slight lie...sure i'm not ready but a lot (or all) of that has to do with the boy and that whole situation...i'm definitely way ahead of most other 23 year olds) 

and now it's time for the scary thought i had while on my way home...what if i don't have maternal instincts? i'm being 100% serious here...what if once i have a child i just don't feel "it"...and i don't even know what "it" is! and then i realized how ridiculous it is for me to feel this way because a) i'm nowhere close to having a baby & b) do i honestly think i would ever feel that way about my own child. 

but after about 2 minutes of thinking about this i realized that this was probably definitely THE most irrational fear i've ever had. of course with my own kids it will be different...and even if i'm not that different than i am now, who cares. i'm pretty good with figuring out a baby as i am right now. i would like to admit that i think teen mom is to blame for me considering that there might be a lack of maternal instinct...i mean seriously some of those girls have it but some of them wouldn't recognize it if it smacked them in the face...20 times a day. 

i feel like it's also fair to mention that sometimes i just know that i'll have like the most difficult baby ever. but then i realize that i would probably be better equipped to handle that than some other people...and no lie my dad has joked with me since i was probably 13 that i would have twins because i would need it to mellow me out...and to show me that parenting isn't as easy as i made it out to be (in my 13 year old mind). but in the past year he's kind of realized that twins really wouldn't terrify me (not that they ever did) so now he says triplets...thanks for that one John. 

attending a parents meeting...nbd

so this past Sunday i went to a meeting for parents of children...yeah i know i don't have kids yet but i went for someone who does. and honestly, i think it's the kind of thing that any church member who either has young kids or plans to have kids should go and hear. and also, it's meetings like these that remind me how lucky i am to have the parents that i do. a lot of the stuff that was discussed were definitely present in my childhood..and honestly until a few years ago i would have assumed were present in any child's life whose parents attended church regularly. i've learned a lot about that in the past few years (even without being a parent) and it has certainly solidified my ideas about how my children will be raised. 


one point that was made was that your children develop friendships while attending class and church.
this was my FAVORITE point and is pretty much the point of this entire post.
These friendships that are made when children are so young will hopefully continue to grow so that when they are in middle/high school they have a great group of friends who have similar morals/beliefs and share the "same faith." as i've written before about the great group of friends that i met at church when i was in the first grade and how impact-full their friendship was come high school. and i seriously had an ah-ha moment when the minister made this comment. i was always at church...any time the doors were open we were there...and so were the girls that i developed these friendships with. and i really want nothing more for my children (especially my daughter/s), then for them to have the same friendships. so yeah my kids will be at church all the time. because i want them to have every opportunity to have those friendships. and i know some days will be rough but there's nothing more important than the spiritual development of my to-be children. 
and yes, i know that there is more to it than just going to church. trust me, i know that. i grew up with daily family devotionals until i was old enough to do them myself, along with family prayer time. so it won't be left up to sunday school teachers. and it's going to be the top priority for me. so yeah i think that anyone who is going to be a parent can benefit from hearing stuff life this. i liked the reminder. 
and to completely change directions (well sorta) i think that this so relates to looking for the boy. i just can't imagine being married to someone, much less trying to raise children with someone that doesn't have spiritual development as the top priority and is satisfied with attending church casually. so i guess the boy has some big expectations to meet...but i have no doubt that he'll do just fine :)

first (of many) craft adventures

last monday the twins and i decided it was time for their first craft adventure. okay so i decided that we needed craft time. i found this on pinterest (link here) and decided that it would be the perfect craft for two 7 month olds to try. i mean really, how hard could it be? 

so jackson and riggs got all set up in their high chairs and then we started with the handprints. it actually went a lot better than i was expecting, it was just a little more difficult to make them open their hands and not just leave fist prints instead. after the turkeys were made, i decided to just let them smear paint over a new piece of paper. 

well jackson decided to eat the paper and riggs got more paint on herself and the high chair than the actual paper. i wish i had gotten some pictures of the twins as we were painting but someone had to make sure they didn't eat the paint...well anymore than they had already eaten. overall, this craft project was super successful. 

i've always been super picky about how my craft projects look and i can be a little over-critical. so it has been suggested to me that i should probably change this before i have kids or else they will never want to have craft time with me. so doing this craft activity with the twins taught me that i can totally do this with my own kids one day...as long as they are about this age. i mean it's not like i seriously expected that a 7 month old would make a perfect handprint turkey...but obviously a 3 year old could (at least mine better be able too)

[Jackson's turkey is on the left, Riggs' is on the right]

oh your THAT mom...

I like to joke that I'm totally going to be THAT mom one day. I'm probably unreasonably excited about planning birthday parties, being a homeroom mom and running kids in 15 directions so they can make it to dance, soccer and baseball practice.
I have a pinterest board focused on this general idea and maybe these pictures will give you a better idea of what I mean by the whole "oh your THAT mom" statement.

modesty

I kind of want to get these thoughts down so that one day when I hopefully have a daughter I can remember (as if i'd forget) how much the "modesty" talks my mom had with me, truly impacted me


So confession, I don't really remember said modesty talks that my mom had with me. BUT I know that we had them and that they occurred practically every time we went clothes shopping from 5th-9th grade. 
I was never the jeans and t-shirt type of girl (but oh how grad school can change that!) and I'm sure going shopping for appropriate clothing with 13 year old me was NOT a pleasant trip. I know that I wanted to wear what everyone else was wearing. I wanted to be in the so-called "cool" clothing and always be fashionable and trendy. But my clothing priorities were not my mothers. And I am so very thankful for that. I can't tell you how many times while in the dressing room I heard "that shirt looks pretty low", "don't you think that top is too tight" and "that dress is definitely too short." But I think the thing I heard most often was, "would you want to wear that in front of the church on Sunday." And honestly, I didn't. I knew that the clothing wasn't sending the right message about the type of girl I was....and I definitely didn't want my church to think of me as that type of girl. 
[side note: my mom never directed these comments at me, as an attack on my body physically. I never, ever took them that way and I know she never meant them that way either]
I think that so often with modesty and girls, we talk about how what a girl wears is important because of what boys will think about her. And yes, that is a very important aspect of modesty and one that should certainly not be overlooked. But sometimes that can be a slippery slope, especially when all a girl wants is for a boy to pay some attention to her. That's why I think it's important to stress not only the type of boys that dressing a certain way will attract but also how people in general are attracted and will perceive you. 
I distinctly remember going shopping for a high school graduation dress. I was 17 years old and with some of my girl-friends looking for the perfect dress to go with my white wedges. I found this super cute halter top dress. It had a pretty low v-neck in the front but the back was pretty okay. My friends really liked it but I remember spending 20 minutes looking at myself in the dressing room mirror and wondering if I should buy it. I tried to justify it by saying that it was going to be really hot day and that I needed a dress like this. But ultimately I just knew that I would be super uncomfortable in it all day long, especially with taking pictures. I later found a dress that I really loved and I'm really glad that I waited for it. 
So moral of the story, don't settle. (okay so life lesson there) I'm 23 years old and yes I have a strapless dress or 2 in my closet. And yes I have shorts that are too short for me to wear to church but I definitely wore them to class. But I don't think what my mom was trying to tell me was that I should never wear anything but baggy jeans and sweatshirts. In fact, I know that wasn't what she wanted me to get from her talks. What she wanted me take away was to just double think about what you wear before you wear it (and especially before you buy it). I love buying clothes but I'm pretty picky. I also don't really like shopping with people who don't "get" the way I dress. I'm super aware of how short a dress/skirt is, especially with the addition of heels. I'm also really aware of how a shirt hangs when I bend over. And I really, really try to consider all of this when I'm buying clothes. I think I'm probably a nightmare to shop with if you don't "get" me. Partly because sometimes you can just tell that an outfit isn't going to be appropriate, no matter what and I'm the girl that just isn't going to try it on. Why bother when I know that it just isn't something I want to be seen in, even if it is just in a dressing room. 
I think it's totally do-able to dress cute and modestly. I'm so glad that when I was really young my mom just didn't allow me to wear certain things and, as I got older, we talked about the clothes when shopping. This might seem really silly but I want my daughter to consider her clothing choices as much as I have. And I hope that one day she will be able to see the value in appropriate clothing and appreciate it as much as I do. 

{Clemson graduation may 2010}

[not the best picture of my mom but we both kind of love it anyways]

life currently

     When I was younger I thought that having kids and getting to be around a baby all the time would be the greatest thing ever. My mom would always remind that babies (and kids in general) are a lot of work. Obviously I understood this and it's not like I was going to go and get pregnant just to have a baby...I mean I watch 16 & pregnant/teen mom all the time :)  Well recently I've been spending my days with twins who are 4 1/2 months old. And okay, I kind of get how they are a lot of work. But really I get how yeah life changes when you had kids but that doesn't mean that you have to stop doing anything cool and just sit at home 24/7. I obviously don't leave the house when I'm with them and that's totally for the best. I told my mom that now when people say they can't do something because they have a kid I don't buy that excuse at all. So really these twins have given me the ability to call people out on their lame excuses for not being involved. I really appreciate that ;)

    But back to the whole babies are a lot of work thing. I feel like most 22 year old's would be okay with watching twins for a day or two (or maybe even a week.) But, by doing so, they would realize that they are totally not ready for kids, at all! However, since I'm such an abnormal and unique person, they haven't really had that effect on me. Yes I will totally admit that they can be a lot of work. And that I want to have a stable life before I think about kids (obviously i need a good job so I can buy all sorts of awesome clothes and such...no lie i sometimes feel like i should start on wardrobes now...which seriously would be such a ridiculous concept...but no so ridiculous that i'm completely ruling it out) 

    Sometimes they both cry at the same time and one just has to cry until I can put the other one down. But then 5 minutes later they are both giving me big smiles and the only one remembering the crying from earlier is me. (and honestly a little crying never really hurt anyone...) So that's parenting lesson #1 the twins have taught me (okay so number one should be always have a burp cloth ready...spit-up is no joke people!) I should probably make a list so in x amount of years I can reference this...I mean who knows all the crazy things that will have happened by then. And my own list would be much better than any advice I get from other people. Because if there is one thing that I am certain of, it's that when I'm a mom I DEFINITELY don't want advice from others...especially random people...or people that annoy me...so basically 99.6% of moms out there. 

    The point of this post could pretty much be summed up like this. Once I have a job there is a possibility that I might start a wardrobe for my yet-to-be created child(ren). The twins are great babies who are teaching me and giving me reasons to call people on their lame excuses. So basically I might be slightly crazy and I really like telling people they are wrong.