i feel the need to preface this chapter. i almost skipped it when i was reading the book. and honestly, even rereading it just now i was definitely thinking "well i'd never do that." so those thoughts may come through as i'm writing my thoughts out for this chapter. i will be the first to admit that it's really easy to make the "right" choices concerning purity when your not in a serious relationship. i know with 100% confidence that once i'm in a relationship with the boy that i'll need to revisit this chapter full-force as well as other books i have on the same topic. and i'm completely okay with that. but for now the thoughts will be coming from the 23 year old who isn't in the serious relationship and doesn't understand the idea of just casually dating someone (much less the idea of casual sex).
4 consequences of having sex before marriage are discussed in this chapter. they are physical, emotional, relational and spiritual.
my favorite line from the physical section is "she didn't want to seem "different" in front of her date." i feel like one of my biggest fears is summed up into that one sentence. i don't want to be seen as different or weird just because of my beliefs. i especially don't want people that i fellowship and worship with thinking that my belief on premarital sex is so strange and out-there. i remember a conversation that i had with 2 of my friends that i met at church while in college. by the time i left dinner i kind of couldn't believe that these were my "church girl friends". i mean it's one thing for random people to have such ideals but really, the people i'm going to church with?! i think i was just shocked and, looking back on the conversation, i never really said where i stood on the topic. there is a part of me that wonders if they honestly couldn't just figure it out. i mean i don't exactly scream crazy or anything. i will say that this conversation did leave me with the realization that now i no longer had to be concerned with just random people thinking i was weird but church friends might too. and really, i just think that is plain sad.
the topic of modesty usually comes to mind whenever purity is being discussed. i written a post on modesty here before and why i'm really glad that my mother did the things that she did. i think that sometimes a lot of pressure and importance is put on the whole "just don't have sex" concept. while that is certainly a valid and true point, there is so much more to purity. and i think that a lot of this can be brought back to modesty, and specifically the way in which a girl dresses. like i said, i've written on modesty before but just to revisit, being modest doesn't mean that you only wear a burlap sack and no make-up. i think that your attitude and intention about the clothes you wear and how you present yourself is pretty key in the modesty concept. of course there is a lot more to purity than just being modest but i think that when modesty can be a concept that a girl is comfortable with then the whole purity thing might make a little more sense to her as well.
the topic of modesty usually comes to mind whenever purity is being discussed. i written a post on modesty here before and why i'm really glad that my mother did the things that she did. i think that sometimes a lot of pressure and importance is put on the whole "just don't have sex" concept. while that is certainly a valid and true point, there is so much more to purity. and i think that a lot of this can be brought back to modesty, and specifically the way in which a girl dresses. like i said, i've written on modesty before but just to revisit, being modest doesn't mean that you only wear a burlap sack and no make-up. i think that your attitude and intention about the clothes you wear and how you present yourself is pretty key in the modesty concept. of course there is a lot more to purity than just being modest but i think that when modesty can be a concept that a girl is comfortable with then the whole purity thing might make a little more sense to her as well.
so i guess i really don't have much to say about this chapter [yet]. and i know that will all change one day (maybe one day soon). i also know that maybe i have unrealistic expectations of the boy and the leadership he'll bring to relationship [which might come up later in this book...or maybe this idea came from another book or bible study...so maybe one day i'll explain this in a little more detail]. and right now, i'm okay with that. i'd much rather be where i am than on the other side of the fence regretting my choices. i know i've sorta mentioned it before, the idea that if i behaved in a different way or did something different, then maybe i would have found the boy by now. and sure, there are a few minor choices i could have made differently. but the whole purity thing, well that's one area where i'm completely okay with my choices so far. and, as uncommon and uncool as they may appear, that's really okay with me. and i will totally say that having classes on this topic throughout high school youth group as well as the greatest friends ever really helped solidify this idea.
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