lady of devotion

obviously a major point of lady in waiting is that while single, a woman should be developing her relationship with Christ. chapter 5 is about becoming a lady of devotion. i feel like this chapter is pretty heavy on the idea of developing your relationship with Christ. 

"Much too often people view a single woman as thought she should be pitied rather than envied. Nothing could be further from the truth. A Lady in Waiting has the advantage of being able to develop her love relationship with Christ without the distractions that a husband or family inherently bring to one's heart." (page 65)

while this idea has been discussed heavily in the previous chapters already, i like how this time the focus is on how other's view the single person. it is so hard for me to imagine that i'll one day be envious of my status now. like that kind of blows my mind. or that someone out there with a husband/family could be envious of me. i like how the above excerpt also mentions that we shouldn't be pitied. i don't think that anyone really pities me and i'm pretty happy about that. i mean i obviously am aware of my current singleness and i don't really need to be reminded of it every time i talk to you. so i'm glad i don't have anyone who wants to have a pity party for me every time they see me. 

"As a woman, you have been created with a desire to be known-not just in a physical or general way, but deeply known and intimately loved. If you are hoping a man will one day fill your heart's desire for intimacy, you will be disappointed. God knows your deep longings for intimate love. Only He, the Lover of your soul, can fill this need completely. Your heavenly Father tenderly created you with needs that only God can fully understand and fulfill. As you come to know who He really is, He will meet your needs for love." (page 67-68)

serious confession time: i have a really hard time with the above passage. i know i'm not in any place to judge anyone's relationship with God. but honestly i occasionally (or quite frequently) feel like there are a ton of girls out there who have a minor (if any) relationship with God. However these girls meet nice boys, get married and start families. and i know that i obviously know nothing about their relationship with God and know very little about their marriages and family life. but it's just hard for me to believe that every woman who doesn't have a deep and intimate relationship with God feels unfulfilled. the passage also makes me wonder why i have to wait and develop this deep love with God while it seems like everyone other girl is getting to meet some boy. and it's not like i can't see how much better off i'll be because of my relationship with God. and, in turn, how much my marriage and children will benefit from it. i guess it really just all boils down to that fact that instead of the people in relationships being envious of my singleness, i'm totally envious of them.

i don't really have much else to say about this chapter. it was fairly short and straight to the point. i know that i really need to work on developing and continuing a deep, intimate relationship with God. it's always good to have a reminder of this and honestly, out of all the things for me to work on, i mean it's certainly not going to hurt anything :)

*so i was pretty honest here and it's obviously not all rainbows and sunshine but that's why i like this book so much. it makes me re-evalute where i think i am...and it reminds me of what's truly important and that eventually i'll be able to look back on this time (and maybe even this blog post) and realize how everything ended up fitting together so perfectly!