questions from looking in a dressing room mirror...

so a weekend or two ago while i was shopping and in the dressing room with the awesome mirror that shows 80 million of you i had this sudden thought, one that i've had before on occasion when i think i'm having an awesome hair day or i love my outfit. i thought that hey, i'm kind of cute and i don't have anything that screams to a guy that he should run in the opposite direction...so then i started to think about why i'm single...and what was wrong with me. because obviously something has to be. and i promise this isn't going to be some super sad post. i can honestly promise that 97% of the time i am not thinking about the whole single thing at all. but every once in a while it just hits me...and it hits me in the most random of ways. and then, then it kind of hurts. 


don't worry, i didn't go back to my dressing room and break down crying. instead, i just smiled. i mean i'm only 23. i'm going to be completely fine [scratch that, i AM completely fine]. i'm happy and content with my life, why worry about something that i can't control. 


but these same questions play a {big} role in why i'm kind of scared to actually meet & date someone. if it doesn't work out and he is the one to end things, i know i'll go right back to these same questions. and confession time, i may have considered online dating. i mean where am i going to meet someone who has any (or more importantly most/all) of the qualities that i'm looking for. i'm definitely not trying to limit God and his ability to bring me and the boy together...but i'm also a realist who knows that he isn't just going to appear at the door one day. i mean that would be so awesome but it's not happening (well never say never but seriously people). also, i'm kind of scared to put myself out there like that. what if no one is interested. online dating has always been this back-up idea that has been in the back of my head. if i actually try it and don't succeed then what am i going to do?


but seriously i'm really okay. i just wanted to put this out there...but if you have suggestions on what i should do..totally willing to listen :)